It all ends with a brilliant light

Good morning world. 

As I sit here watching the movie "Hot Rod" for the 4000th time I've started to really think about my life and what I want to accomplish. 

As a kid I wanted to discover dinosaurs, find sunken ships, basically be Indiana Jones without the annoying blonde chick, the Chinese kid, or anyone trying to rip out my heart...although, if someone was going to rip out my heart I would probably need the Chinese kid, I mean, who's going to yell "Indy, cava yo har"? So congrats Chinese kid, who was also in goonies, you're in. 

Truth be told, I feel a little lost. I have just recently left my job to pursue the creation of my own company and get out of the bullshit "corporate world. When I left I had this huge Jerry McGuire feeling like I was going to conquer the world, now I'm just a guy on a couch with his Basset Hound Steve who hasn't showered in 4 days. Say what you will, but I still think he's the one that stinks...

So when you're broke, you think your Dr girlfriend hates you for making the wrong career choices, your balls OR your basset hound Steve stink to high hell, you really start putting things into perspective. Here is a brief list of complaints since I've been "without work"

1. Everything that is worth watching is ALWAYS on a channel you currently don't have
2. I would rather put a hot curling iron up my urethra than watch daytime TV. 

• "Live with Regis and Kelly" is a crock of shit and they should both be dragged out on the corner and shot for being so fake.  
• "Good Morning America" would be great if Anne Curry was the only one on it. I say that not because I have an Asian fetish, but because she's the only one with any journalistic integrity...and I have an Asian fetish. 
• I can't stand soap operas, ESPN is decent for a while, I don't know what it is about men but I actually don't mind watching at least three of the same SportsCenter's before I will watch anything else. 
  
• Thank god for DVR. 

At the end it all ends with a big light. Lately I've thought that each person makes his own choices to be whatever version of himself that he wants to be. My most current version is a bitter old man, cramped by society, unfit for the corporate world, eager to be loved, trying to figure out where his place is in this life. 

Each person believes they have this amazing and profound life to lead, and that though is most people's biggest problem. I think that the best thing you can do for yourself is to not believe the hype. Simply wake up every morning and tell yourself that you're not the best. Our mothers were wrong in telling us that we were special, we were the best, and we were good looking- mine was right on point with the looks part...seriously, look at me.  

I say do away with the jesus theory, get rid of the ego, and do your best to make it up everyday. This will make your life more worth living, this will push you each day to be the best person you can be, you will be more successful in thinking you will never succeed than obtaining some some small spec of success and thinking you're the bees knees. 

I have to figure it out soon, after all, it all ends with a brilliant light.